Mourners gathered today at a Downtown makeshift memorial to honor the life and legacy of Dr. Walter Jensen, a local ophthalmologist and pillar of the community who was repeatedly stabbed in the face by a mysterious, 8-point contraption while walking to his office on Pike Street.
“From eyewitness accounts and security camera footage, it appears that Dr. Jensen was picking up some Top Pot coffee and donuts to bring to his staff around 8 a.m. when he was struck down by a merciless series of blows to the eyes, cheeks and jugular,” said SPD Chief of Police, Adrian Diaz. “Rest assured the assailant will swiftly be brought to justice for this cruel and senseless act. What this strange new weapon is, we will also be pushing for it to be outlawed.”
Little is known of the attacker identified by media outlets as 29-year-old Halie Johnson, but a disturbing pattern of Facebook posts indicate she may be from California.
While police believe this to be an isolated incident, the Port of Seattle and SeaTac Airport have raised the security threat level to “Extreme” while a new SPD tweet reminds Seattleites to remain vigilant and cautious during the next few months of rainy season.
“We can’t be too careful about these dangerous weapons. Seattle is definitely not an open-carry city, so if you see something, say something very passive aggressive.”
