Determined to be at the forefront of remote-control drone technology, today Amazon’s Prime Air team announced its engineers have finally successfully created the first one ever that doesn’t break by the end of Christmas Day.
“For years we’ve been excited to get Prime Air off the ground for wider availability, but our remote-control drone delivery technicians always got a little too excited and ran them too hard into wall, ceiling or rooftop somewhere,” said Prime Air spokesman Zane Phillips. “No matter how much we spent on the R&D for each device model, they’d be exciting to fly around for about 10 minutes before they were irreparably smashed and done for. We can now safely say we have a model that can make it to at least New Year’s Day.”
In addition to Prime Air’s delivery drone fleet, Amazon hinted it may soon start selling versions of the slightly less destructible technology publicly as drone cameras and toy helicopters.
“I’m really hoping that’s true because every year I get my son the remote-control helicopter he always says he wants for Christmas, it’s absolutely obliterated within an hour of him opening it up Christmas Day,” said local father Chris Wright. “Such a waste of money. I’m proud to say that least last year I at least kept my camera drone alive and not rammed into a giant tree right up until Christmas dinner.”
Amazon said it next hopes to make half of the off-brand, knock-off retail items sold on their website last until at least the end of Kwanzaa.
