The Ballard PCC staff room is buzzing with excitement today over the potential recruitment of grocery store regular Ethan Bilmore, who was invited to apply for a cashier position after his impressive walk-in performance at self-checkout.
“I’ve seen that young man scanning here and there, but this time was different,” said store manager Bergamot Fenstrom. “Not only did he scan and bag $125 worth of groceries without causing a jam, he also cracked the coding system for our bulk spices without using the labels. The kid’s got talent.”
Although it may be too early to tell, co-op community rumors say that if he’s successfully recruited, the young man may already be a serious contender for PCC’s 2022 Rookie Bagger of the Year.
“I’m just happy to be given the opportunity,” said Ethan with a sweat towel thrown over his shoulder. “I’m thankful to the cooperative, a supportive community, and the scanners. My parents taught me there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who wait in line and those who work hard for free while also spending money at the grocery store.”
Ethan is reportedly also entertaining offers from Whole Foods, Met Market, and Town & Country. Although their compensation packages have been competitive, PCC is likely to seal the deal soon with a bushel-of-asparagus signing bonus that grocery analysts estimate is valued at $25,000.
