After getting booed for 10 minutes straight at a San Francisco show earlier this week, brave free-speech activists Dave Chappelle and Elon Musk found themselves in even more hot water today after refusing to use they/them pronouns to describe legendary progressive metal band Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
“Look, I don’t care if that group has three to four people in it depending on its tour schedule, the only pronouns I’ll be using to refer to this rock band is he/him, he/him, and he/him,” said Dave Chappelle putting out a cigarette on an intern’s forehead. “When I see TSO perform later this week, no woke mob is going to make me say ‘Wow, they’re still pretty good.’ It’s he, he, and he are still pretty good. And no, I’m not saying that because I seem to be weirdly obsessed with other people’s gender identities at about the same age dicks stop working. This is about protecting free speech!”
Musk reiterated the sentiment on Twitter not long after Chappelle’s statement.
“What should I say Dave? I think I’ve got a new set of pronouns for handling this pressure to use them/them to refer to a rock band: Make/me.”
As for Trans-Siberian Orchestra band members back on tour performing their Christmas rock operas, they say they’ve all been blindsided by the pronoun debacle.
“I don’t know, using the pronouns we find most appropriate to describe us seems to be pretty easy for most people with hearts and brains,” said keyboardist Robert Kinkel. “I’ve really had it with these TEROFs (trans-exclusionary radical old farts.)”
At press time, Chappelle and Musk said they were reportedly committed to also refusing to use they/them pronouns to describe the ensemble for the new Transformers movie.
“Trans-Siberian Orchestra” Photo by Matt, CC by 2.0
