Even the most confident of Seattleites can sometimes waver in their faith that Bellevue truly and completely sucks at all times in every way, especially on days when they have snow and you don’t. If you’ve been scared you’re the only one who sometimes thinks for even a split second of moving to the Eastside because they sometimes temporarily look like the cover of a holiday card and your way cooler city doesn’t, rest assured you’re not the only one and there is help. Here are 3 ways to remember Bellevue still sucks no matter what:
- We know it’s hard, but stop thinking about children sledding down hills in Somerset. It’s times like these that we most need to remember how lame Bellevue Square is compared to Pike Place Market or University Village, even though neither of latter are currently enveloped in a heavenly blanket of pearly frost.
- Images of people in Downtown Bellevue twirling in a now literal Snowflake Lane can make the area embarrassingly tempting to visit, but that’s when you have to remind yourself how horrible traffic is on I-405, which is so horribly icy right now that people who live over there are probably taking some legit snow days this week.
- It can be easy to be jealous of Bellevue’s snowy higher elevations, but do they have the Queen Anne Sedan Snow Slam? No, only dozens of luxury street-racing cars and Teslas with drivers about to overestimate their driving skills in really wild, Fast and the Furious ways all over the place. Sounds dumb and not at all hilarious either.
Days like this can be hard and take a toll on our mental health, but they are temporary. As soon as Bellevue’s snow melts, we can rest assured we’ll be back to our usual Seattle selves confident we would never voluntarily step foot Bellevue again.
