Today local non-profit Meals on Wheels on Wheels announced that although it was honored to be selected as a beneficiary of a donation from MacKenzie Scott, former wife of Jeff Bezos, it would be politely declining her proposed contribution of her second, recently divorced husband.
“We were very excited to hear MacKenzie had thought of us and it’s a very, um, unexpectedly generous offer,” said the non-profit’s CEO Jenny Park. “While we do have some unmet needs such as stoves and refrigerators that need replacing in our kitchen, unfortunately weird teacher dude who somehow married the third-richest woman in the world just isn’t one of them.”
An anonymous employee of the non-profit confessed they were initially hoping for a large financial donation from the MacKenzie Scott trust and that they were immensely disappointed to discover they were only up for receiving a matrimonial cast-off.
“I mean, I guess it’s still nice to be considered even if the well has run dry,” said the worker. “Personally, I think we could have still used him. We’ve got a lot of single volunteers on staff including myself who want to learn how to date MacKenzie Scott or at least Melinda French Gates and never write another grant application again.”
After being politely turned away by several other non-profits, Scott’s donation has reportedly been returned to Lakeside School where it came from.
