After a tormented night of believing the Gum Wall would be the next Seattle landmark getting donated to MOHAI to make way for construction of a new high-rise, the museum’s curator was happy to report today it was all only just the most terrible nightmare she’s ever had.
“I dreamt the gum was collected in buckets and I was expected to catalog each blob and then recreate the exact placement using reference photos,” said MOHAI Curator Tessa Poplin, with a shudder. “It all felt so real! Ugh, thank God it was just a dream. Isn’t it enough that every week I have to give the Toe Truck a pedicure?”
Though only a nightmare, Poplin said she’s lived many other nightmares that didn’t go away when she woke up.
“I think everyone knows by now we’re often the final resting place for development-displaced Seattle treasures like the Elephant Car Wash sign, but not all of the donations we get are treasures,” Poplin said. “Back in 2017 all these engineering freaks wanted me to preserve Bertha, the 6k ton boring machine. I barely got out of that one, but honestly handling her sounds more manageable than all the disgusting possibilities of caring for a clammy-ass masses of chewed Bubble Yum.”
At press time, Poplin was figuring out how to archive the recently donated Ballard Locks that were removed last month to make way for Jeff Bezos’s imperial star destroyer yacht.
