As local pro-choice advocates protest the dismantling of national human rights to privacy and bodily autonomy while continuing to look for productive ways to channel their anger, Congressional candidate and only anti-abortion member of the King County Council—Reagan Dunn—is reportedly still hoping only right-wing nutjobs know or care who he is.
“I’m kinda hoping to unseat pro-choice U.S. Congresswoman Dr. Kim Schrier of Sammamish in this fall’s mid-term elections without anyone noticing before it’s too late,” said Dunn. “Despite only having supervised visitation rights to my own children after multiple allegations of extreme child negligence and domestic abuse, I’m absolutely confident I’m who the Washington’s 8th District needs to keep women and children safe—the white ones at least.”
In addition to hoping no one really noticed how he was the only King County Councilmember who refused to simply affirm support for abortion rights last month, Dunn is also hoping no one noticed how he looked the other way last year when his Republican colleague sent out a blatantly racist mailer about Councilmember Girmay Zahilay.
“Still kinda hoping no one except the most racist, sexist assholes I’m pandering to now looks into that or if I’ve actually completed any of my court-ordered treatment for alcoholism and anger issues I’ve publicly said I have,” Dunn said, applying a couple thin blue line flag stickers to every side of his car. “Despite the fact that earlier this month I literally proposed building a wall around Seattle’s City Hall Park, I’m really not like one of those Trump Republicans at all – just the kind who will just kinda do his bidding anyway if that’s what gets me elected.”
At press time, Dunn announced he’d also like everyone in the Seattle area to not care about how he’s pushing back against even-year election legislation proven to increase voter turnout.
“Even I won’t hide that more voter participation means there would be less people like me in office. So, please go on ignoring who I am and don’t encourage anyone you know in Issaquah, North Bend, Sammamish, Cle Elum, Enumclaw and Wenatchee to re-elect Dr. Kim Schrier this fall.”
