Sometimes it’s hard to know whether he ghosted you or is just another Washington State Ferry taking off without you. Take our quiz to help you figure it out.
He said he’d show up at a set time and:
A. Cancelled at the last minute only to update his Tinder with fresh selfies the same night.
B. Cancelled at the last minute in hopes someone else who walks on water sweeps you off your feet instead.
Whenever you tried to make plans:
A. Took him forever to check his calendar to see when he wasn’t busy.
B. The only way he’ll confirm plans is if you book them 2 days in advance at 7 a.m.
Before he flaked, he was already terrible at communicating because:
A. He’d take more than a day to respond to a text.
B. He was always tooting his own foghorn.
Sometimes he seemed full of himself when:
A. He came back from trips abroad telling stories in fake, pretentious accents.
B. He came back from Bainbridge Island carrying thousands of passengers across the Sound like he’s one of the coolest and most beautiful things in the world. I mean, he is, but the lack of humility is astonishing.
You’re pretty sure the main reason you’ve been ghosted is:
A. You were too open with him too fast about how Taylor Swift topped your Spotify Wrapped playlist for a second year in a row.
B. There’s an unprecedented shortage of skilled maritime labor that has forced canceled reservations, reduced hours of availability and opportunities to pick you up and connect with you.
What you’ll miss most about him if he never gets back to you:
A. The high of chasing someone who makes you feel just as shitty and unwanted as one or both of your parents did under the delusion that making them like you will single-handedly heal all your childhood trauma and fears of not being enough for anyone.
B. Whale watching and sailing into the sunset together.
If you answered mostly As, congratulations, you are just dating a shitty man to forget about posthaste.
If you answered mostly Bs, you were definitely dating one of Washington State’s majestic and understaffed ferries.
