Shocking reports from Smith Rock State Park surfaced today after eyewitnesses claimed to have seen legendary free-solo rock climber Alex Honnold using a rope and harness during one of his climbs, potentially ruining his credibility as the world’s top free soloist forever.
“I’ve had suspicions for a while now and I confirmed them today – he was straight up juicing 70M lines of braided nylon like it’s nothing, bouncing off the walls everywhere,” said witness Levi Torres shaking his head. “If he’s not doing what he’s famous for—free soloing walls like Yosemite’s El Capitan without rope—100 percent of the time, I’m beginning to have doubts about how legit he is after all. Were the ropes CGI-ed out of the Oscar-winning documentary about his rope-free rock climbing? Has anyone checked to see if that white stuff in his chalk bag is even really chalk?”
Yosemite National Park Rangers say they’re currently considering revoking his El Capitan First to Free-Solo El Capitan title if the allegations are corroborated. But Honnold’s friend Tommy Caldwell said he’s doing nothing of the sort.
“No way,” said Caldwell while belaying a friend. “He’s a purely natural hand-to-stone kind of guy – would never dope on the rope.”
Honnold, who was on the other end of Caldwell’s rope at the time, was not available for comment.
