In an unprecedented philanthropic partnership, Seattle leaders of tech giants Amazon, Microsoft, Meta and Google announced today they’ll be working together to offer NFT homes located on a digital blockchain far from anyone’s real backyard or real, tangible anything..
“Together, we as tech leaders can do so much more than city government can with its crazy Seattle City Council proposals to fund ways to fight homelessness with real fiat money taxed from multi-billion-dollar companies like ours,” said Amazon’s new CEO Andy Jassy at a Climate Pledge Arena presser. “By far, the more modern, cost-efficient solution to helping our unhoused neighbors is finding them a .jpg image of a home off of Zillow or Redfin and selling it to them at an affordable price as an NFT on the blockchain where they can be theoretical, virtual home-owners forever.”
Mayor-elect Bruce Harrell, who ran a campaign centered on the idea that local homelessness issues could be solved through voluntary tech-company philanthropy instead of mandatory taxes, praised the NFT home partnership program.
“Finally, we’ll be able to move these homeless encampments from your block to the blockchain,” said Harrell. “I have to admit I don’t really know what an NFT or a blockchain is yet, but I heard it’s all recorded on some sort of ledger dashboard thingie, so I’m all in. Expensive digital dashboards solve everything—or at least make it look like you’re trying to so don’t really have to. And that’s what counts!”
At press time, the tech CEOs said that by mid-winter they may even begin offering NFTs of warm food and clothes.
