In a shocking move that rattled friends and relatives today, Pacific Northwest native and temperate climate shill Rick Frink caved and bought an umbrella.
“My father raised me to just pull my hood on tighter and stare at the ground, like a proper Seattleite,” said a defensive Frink as he stood inside his giant personal canopy. “I know who umbrellas are for, and I’m not one of those people.”
Frink said that he dabbled in umbrella use on a recent trip to Portland.
“My hotel had a rack of them by the door, and I needed to wait outside in the pouring rain for an Uber,” he said, his smile sheepish and dry under the taut polypropylene. “It was supposed to be a one-time thing.”
Frink said any remaining doubters of his Pacific Northwest heritage can look forward to the coming release of a short doc proving that as a kid he did, in fact, play at the beach in the rain.
