Just in time for Leif Erikson Day weekend, new archaeological evidence has been discovered to suggest that, in addition to being the first European to set foot on the North American continent over a thousand years ago, Erikson was also the first person to ever find parking on Ballard’s Market Street on a Sunday.
“The longstanding scientific consensus was that, aside from native people already inhabiting the area, it was impossible that an explorer had successfully found a parking space within five blocks of the Ballard Farmers Market at any point within the last thousand years,” said Heidi Knutson, Director of the National Nordic Museum. “But just this week, we made a remarkable discovery: evidence that—against all odds—Erikson was able to navigate treacherous traffic and one way streets to wedge his Knarr longship in a narrow gap between a fire hydrant and a Prius.”
Among the debris discovered in the archaeological midden was a runic shopping list left behind by Erikson and his crew.
“Local lavender honey, homemade gooseberry jam, donut peaches, squash blossoms—I mean, that’s a farmers market shopping list if I’ve ever seen one,” said Knutson, examining the frail artifact. “Based on the accrued evidence, we now believe that after a pleasant Sunday perusing local produce and wares, Erikson’s crew loaded their ship with macarons, organic dog treats, and some nice flowers for their mothers before heading back to Greenland.”
Archaeologists studying the site believe that Christopher Columbus later double-parked in a handicapped spot and proclaimed that he had discovered parking first.
