Local white antiracist dude Chase Hedges, who impressed social media followers the world over with his brave calls to end white silence this last year, courageously announced today through silent implication that he’s still pretty okay with male silence.
“When it comes to fighting racism, it’s high time overprivileged white men like me step off the sidelines because silence is violence,” said Hedges, who still prefers to stay quiet on the sidelines any time someone brings up the topic of reduced reproductive rights or a man he likes for any reason being accused of sexual assault.
Asked directly if his male silence on the overturning of Roe v. Wade this week meant he was okay with women’s bodily autonomy not being respected in a patriarchal world that is still extremely sexist and dangerous for women the world over, Hedges assured he absolutely is not.
“Of course I support birth control, abortion and holding sexist, abusive men accountable for their actions—how dare you even imply otherwise even though my virtue-signaling posts are almost never specifically about women’s rights,” Hedges said. “I would just rather not say anything out loud about it so I can stay two-faced enough to keep impressing sexist males I stand to gain more power, money and influence from some day. I would hate to make any of them even slightly uncomfortable or reflective about their misogyny. But I’m totally rooting for you ladies! Silently!”
At press time, Hedges was attempting to head off any increasing suspicions of ignorant white male privilege by posting a picture of himself on his leather “intersectional sofa” wearing a Berner for Jill Stein 2016 shirt.
