After facing criticism from social justice advocates, today Seattle mayoral candidate Bruce Harrell unveiled a police reform proposal that promises full funding of office pizza parties for every time the Seattle Police Department goes an entire week without murdering someone.
“You can’t expect LEOs to refrain from shooting people during wellness checks when they’re feeling sad, bored or hungry,” said Harrell. “My proposal is the only one that addresses these root causes of injustice in a department where officers only take home a median salary of $167,000 a year, not including benefits. For our fair city to truly achieve lasting police reform, it will require more police funding, not less, and that starts with unlimited-toppings pizza parties for every week the department takes a time-out from seeing themselves as judge, jury and executioner.”
Interim Chief Adrian Diaz has already publicly announced his support for Harrell’s proposed reform, citing the low morale and unprecedented wave of departures from the department in the wake of mass protests and increased demands of accountability.
“Despite initial doubts, I am proud to say that the department and I thoroughly endorse candidate Harrell’s bold reforms as an important part of trying to recruit and retain officers as long as this definitely includes unlimited meat toppings,” said Diaz. “This proposal is the perfect blend of offering both a carrot for SPD as well as a stick for the community. By carrot, I do mean stuffed-crust pizza for us and by stick I do mean sticking Seattle’s generous taxpayers with the bill.”
While Seattle Police Officers Guild President Mike Solan could not be reached for comment on Harrell’s Office Pizza Appreciation (OPA) plan, a new post on SPOG’s Parler account noted that they would continue their policy of advising officers to completely ignore anything named OPA.
