In an effort to decentralize her financial operations, one Seattle-area tooth fairy says she is now only doling out fractions of cryptocurrency under the pillows of toothless children.
“The dental blockchain is here,” the tooth fairy, who wishes to remain anonymous, told The Needling. “Modern kids deserve financial transactions without an intermediary. Let’s be honest, 80 percent of the time I try to purchase children’s teeth through parents they to forget to pay their kids with their pathetic fiat coins anyway.”
Her first payment documented on the online ledger went to Queen Anne first-grader, Sam Jones, who lost an incisor in a Granny Smith apple Thursday night. When he woke up this morning, he found a QR code that gave him a private key to a Coinbase wallet with 0.00048 Bitcoin, or about $20 USD.
“Awesome – I knew front teeth could earn twice as much crypto,” said Jones, 6. “I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure next time I lose an incisor, I’ll be able to make even more if I sell it as an NFT instead.”
The Tooth Fairy said she’s more than game for that once she launches her own cryptocurrency, Enamelereum, with a market cap only limited by the number of loose teeth in circulation.
