A Seattle resident visiting Vancouver, B.C this weekend confirmed today that she’ll be launching a formal investigation into whatever the fuck that thing that looks like it’s trying to be the Space Needle is.
“It seems our dear Space Needle may have had an illegitimate child with a basic concrete skyscraper back in the 70s and never told us about it,” said lead tourist attraction investigator Erica Bell. “The only way to know for sure is opening up a formal inquiry into where this unidentified fugly object came from – a process I shall begin as soon as I find some wifi around here because I’m sure AF not paying any roaming charges this weekend.”
Although Bell said she’d been mystified by the building’s existence ever since she saw it on a family trip as a child, several sources are reportedly saying the origin of the landmark has been well-known among the locals all along.
“There is speculation that some foreign cultures call this strange, alien structure ‘Vancouver Lookout’ or as the native Vancouver residents say, ‘Harbour Centre,’” Bell said. “But I assure you my detective work will not rest until I know exactly who and why TF this fucked-up looking thing exists.”
As Bell continues searching for answers, Vancouver officials say as soon as they’re allowed to visit Seattle again they’ll be launching their own investigation into WTF is going on with Rainier Tower.
