A day after releasing its 2021 Summer Concert Series schedule, Woodinville winery and event venue Chateau Ste. Michelle confirmed its sold-out John Legend concert will include a maskless make-out section for vaccinated, turned-on ticketholders.
“Just as a Mariners game isn’t the same with a mask muffling your howls of inevitable despair, neither is listening to John Legend sing ‘All of Me’ live without voraciously sucking your romantic partner’s maskless face,” said winery spokesperson Hailey Ryerson. “So, for responsibly vaccinated concertgoers, we’ll be setting apart an entire maskless makeout section where couples who haven’t had a decent date in more than a year can publicly and safely swap spit with reckless, awkward abandon.”
The winery will first test its maskless make-out section operations before the John Legend performances at their Rodrigo y Gabriela concert.
“We want our guests to fully enjoy themselves, but hopefully not too much … we know it’s been hard for a lot of folks to get away from the kids this last year,” Ryerson said. “By the time we get to our Chris Isaak concert, we may just go ahead and repurpose our dining igloos for a maskless sexcapade section.”
While unvaccinated people will be allowed to attend the concerts, Ryerson said they will have to be seated in a separate, masked section while being viciously trolled by Chrissy Teigen.
