The City of Seattle finalized an agreement with the City of Shoreline today to change the northernmost city limits at 145th street so that Seattle can specifically annex Central Market Shoreline.
“Spiritually, it’s never been in Shoreline – plain and simple. The craft beer selection alone should’ve given that away,” said Andrea Riddle, spokesperson for City of Seattle. “And the seafood selection?! I mean, come on. It’s basically Pike Place Market North.”
While the Central Market staff has some adjusting to do surrounding the shakeup, the change has been expected for quite some time.
“As much as we’ve loved serving what we thought was the Shoreline community, we eventually realized over 95 percent of our customers were actually Seattleites who just took off their Patagonia vests before they came inside,” said Central Market Assistant General Manager, Randy Fink. “Most of them were even kind and courteous to our staff, which is why it took us so long to put the pieces together.”
The recurring compliments to Central Market staffers surrounding “cheap” prices eventually made it undeniable that the store was actually in Seattle.
“People kept saying the prices were so great, but the Shoreline Trader Joe’s, Fred Meyer, and QFC right up the street are all much cheaper,” Fink continued. “Ultimately we couldn’t deny that despite where the city limits were drawn, the store was in Seattle.”
By evening, hundreds of customers now free to wear Patagonia vests inside were seen loading up grocery carts with good bags of coffee somehow selling for less than $15 each.
