Legendary Seattle delicatessen Salumi has announced they are expanding their menu with a new line of convenient Charcuterie Replacement Shakes for gals on the go.
“Our refreshing Salami Sunrise shake contains four slices of salami, a generous slab of Twin Sisters brie, three dates, two water crackers and a dollop of stone ground mustard that have been blended into a thick, savory slurry,” said Salumi spokesperson Greg Pearson. “We’ve even partnered with Daily Harvest to deliver fan favorites straight to your door, like the Guanciale Gulp, which is rich in both antioxidants and antipasti.”
The shakes have been an instant hit with fancy gals lacking the luxury of time, but still desiring to briefly taste the finer things in life.
“There’s nothing like smothering your thirst with Pancetta Passion at the top of Mailbox Peak,” said Jenny Tran. “I used to hike up here with a thick wedge of fragrant camembert cheese and a log of sopressata, but this is so much easier than arranging an insta-worthy spread on an alpine tree stump. I still love to peck at an ornate platter of decadent treats, but on the days I don’t have time, I reach for a Prosciutto Purée and a Semi-soft Bleu Cheese Squeezer.”
Following the success of the shakes, a men’s line of Extreme Charcuterie Fuel shakes has been announced, which is exactly the same product just in a black bottle with ‘protein’ written on the label in all caps 15 times.
