As Mercer Island’s population reached a 100 percent vaccination rate, the upper-crust community’s residents were left wondering what’s taking everyone else on the mainland so long?
“I don’t really get what the holdup is,” said Stacey Yardley from her lakefront home’s patio. “You donate $10,000 to Overlake Medical Center, you get invited to a special access vaccination appointment and you’re done. So maybe all these teachers whining about not wanting to go back into the classroom without a vaccination should speed it up and get their shot already?”
Yardley’s neighbor and tech startup founder Tim Ayers said he was similarly baffled nearby communities don’t have nearly as high a vaccination rate.
“Sure, it was a tough choice between Moderna and Pfizer, but getting this done and over with for my entire family was pretty straightforward,” said Ayers from his private boat dock. “You just take one of Paul Allen’s old submarines to a yacht and then a private jet to an undisclosed location to an unnamed doctor for the shot and you’re back before dinner. Maybe everyone who’s trying to get an appointment unsuccessfully is overcomplicating things?”
At press time Mercer Island residents were also wondering if local homeless campers had ever thought of maybe instead living in a house?
