In an effort to please discerning Prime customer palates slightly concerned about animal welfare, Amazon Fresh announced today its new line of premium grass force-fed beef.
“Prime customers deserve to feel good about the meat that they’re eating,” said Amazon Fresh VP Darla Twines. “Our Prime cuts now only come from cows that lived on sunny, idyllic pastures before a humble farming drone finishes them on a 100% organic, non-GMO grass force-fed diet. We never use antibiotics or added growth hormones either—just involuntary, briefly traumatizing force-feeding followed by swift, mechanical death.”
So far, Amazon Fresh customers say they’re impressed.
“I heard something about grass-fed meat being better for people and cows so I imagine grass force-feeding must be even better for us – certainly seems like it,” said Bob Kendricks, licking his fingers after eating a 100% grass force-fed finished beef hamburger. “I feel bad for my friends still subsisting on regular grass-fed beef. There’s nothing like having cruelty-free cow foie gras delivered straight to your doorstep.”
Amazon Fresh says later this year customers can also look forward to 18-week humanely raised grass force-fed veal.
