Acquiescing to persistent requests from countless blockchain overlords, today The Needling became a pioneer in the online news industry by launching a new NFT subscription for only $1.99 million a month.
The unique NFT (non-fungible token) subscription includes all the same digital content of the free subscription, but with the added bonus of knowing you’re paying $1.99 million a month to enjoy the same content in the exact same digital format.
“I’m still not quite sure what the fuck an NFT is, but I would really like to get in on this shit,” said The Needling’s Editor-in-Chief, Lex Vaughn, in a press statement. “I love the few very nice followers who have actually supported our Patreon at any point to death, but if there’s some guys out there who would like the feeling of reading the same free content while knowing they’re spending the equivalent of several multi-million-dollar homes to read us all year long, that would make no fucking sense but also be fantastic.”
The real fake news site’s editor went on to say she has high hopes about the popularity of the NFT subscription and single article NFT purchases with local tech daddies worth “millions of Bitcoin, Ethereum, Dogecoin or something – I really don’t get this shit.”
“If a jpg I can download right now for myself sold for $69 million at a Christie’s auction, a Tweet from Jack Dorsey can be sold for $2.9, just a single download of ‘Mayor Durkan Kicks Off Pride Month Festivities with Rainbow-Colored Tear Gas’ is surely worth at least $88 million,” Vaughn estimated. “We are open for crypto-business or whatever you people call it. Like, I can’t buy groceries with the money, but I could get a Tesla with it or something, right?”
Vaughn said The Needling will soon accept more alt cryptocurrencies including BeanieBabyCoin, TulipCoin and ToiletPaperCoin.
