After President Donald Trump finally gave what was essentially a long-awaited concession speech Thursday night, the nation remains in limbo today as December 2020 refuses to concede to January 2021.
“I really thought all of 2020 was going to be over on Dec. 31,” said Seattle resident Elizabeth Petrie. “I know 2020 was a leap year, but how is it December 39th?!”
Not everyone has had a problem with December 2020 sticking around for longer, though, and some are even rooting for it to never go away.
“Personally, I’m supporting all objections to the existence of January 2021 because I really like my Christmas decorations,” said Cle Elum resident Larry Riddell while fawning over the crisp, decorated tree carcass in his living room. “I know they say keeping decorations like this in your home past their expiration date is a giant fire hazard, but that’s just what the fake news media wants you to think.”
As a smoke alarm went off and flames were seen erupting from the back of Riddell’s Christmas tree, he assured us that we and all other fellow Americans there’s no need to panic, everything is fine, and recommended just sitting back and enjoying what hopefully becomes an eternal December 2020.
