After recent news that Seattle’s pink neon Elephant Car Wash sign would be taken down and donated to the Museum of History and Industry (MOHAI), city officials announced today that the entire collection of cool Seattle landmarks that existed before Amazon arrived will also be donated to MOHAI.
“We figured, all this shit’s going inside MOHAI within the next five years anyway – let’s just rip this whole Band-Aid off now,” said city spokesman Paul Frankel. “Sure, we know how much character Pike Place Market, the Space Needle and Smith Tower gave their neighborhoods and the city as a whole. But, trust me, you’ll forget all that when you see how incredibly identical these 40-story condo towers being built in their place are to each other. It’s kind of fun not being able to recognize what street you’re on anymore!”
Local condo developer Patterson & Bell thanked the city and MOHAI for their partnership in “getting all this shit out of the way.”
“The reality is that we’re living through an unprecedented pandemic, so it’s all the more important now for everything in this city to not only be sterile, but look sterile,” said the developer’s spokesman, Josh Welks. “Ideally, every building in Seattle should look like rectangles with exteriors so devoid of any original embellishment you could spray them with Lysol and easily wipe each side down with one giant paper towel.”
MOHAI lead curator Tessa Poplin said that although they’re quickly running out of space for everything at the museum, they plan to make something work even if it means moving all the way to Tacoma.
