The prolonged quarantine has reportedly taken its toll on local Green Lake couple Tom and Megan Kinsdale as their constant isolation with only their dog and infant son has rendered them incapable of communicating in little more than gibberish.
“At first, we were extwemely dismayed that Gubbunna Jay Inswee extended the stay-at-home diwective, but soon we adjusted, yes we did!” said Tom as he booped our noses during a Zoom-call interview. “It’s just an itty bitty little quawantine, and we have plenty of num-nums in the fwidge, toilet paper for when we go boom-boom, and we go on lots of walkies to the P-A-R-K with our precious furbaby don’t we? We excited to say bye-bye to the mean ol’ Cowonaviwus, but we otay.”
While the couple have adapted to communicate with each other, their friends, family and co-workers have become increasingly concerned with their rapidly regressing speech and behavioral patterns.
“He keeps trying to play peek-a-boo with me during Zoom meetings and, if I didn’t know better, I swear he had spaghetti sauce all over his face during our last sales call,” said Tom’s friend and coworker Archie Robinson. “I think they might be starting to crack, though: I called Tom the other day and I thought their kid had picked up the phone because it took at least five minutes to figure out that ‘You wa ba ba koo?’ was him asking if I wanted to come over to barbecue with them over Memorial Day Weekend. Being served Dino Nuggets at a barbecue is bad enough, but drinking white claws out of a sippy cup just feels wrong, you know?”
When asked for further comment, the Kinsdales were able to confirm that we were just the cutest little intrepid journalists, yes we were.
