Local fashionistas, rejoice: This fall’s bold, cutting-edge Bellevue Mall Fashion Show will be headlined by none other than the launch of Costco’s New Kirkland Signature Collection.
“I don’t want to give too much away, but you can expect to see the same favorite basics, like terry cloth sweat pants and cotton v-necks, but with a few more holes, bleach spots, and pizza sauce stains,” said Kirkland Signature Lead Fashion Designer Lance Potters. “Masked models will be strutting down the runway accessorized with other Kirkland Signature items, including fish oil, cashews in bulk, and 800-count trash bags to complete their looks.”
The collection is rumored to have a new color of two pack leggings and may also include a few risqué cotton blouses sporting boat necks, perfect for really mixing it up on that 45th indoor date night.
Asked if toilet paper would be featured in the line, Potters gasped.
“Toilet paper? That’s so February, darling,” Potters said. “By September it’s going to be all about hoarding Double-Zip Ziploc Freezer Bags for fall harvest and winter economic apocalypse.”
Though Potters said their new fashion line will be relatively affordable, it’s fully expected anyone shopping for them at Costco later this year will still leave the store with an at least $400 receipt.
