Warning that California transplants definitely be “up in this” local watchdog journalists unveiled a groundbreaking report today confirming once and for all that, yeah, Greenwood, Greenwood always up to no good.
“Even Wedgwood tryin’ to get a piece, baby,” said leading source for the report, UW researcher Dr. Grey.
Many questions remain unanswered, however, including SoDo, SoDo, where you at?
“Throw it up, y’all!” shoe-leather reporter Erick Kaksure said standing outside a few SoDo bars. “Throw it up! Throw it up! I can’t see ya.”
But several skeptics remain.
“Let’s show these fools how we do it in West Seattle,” said Seattle City Coucilmember Lisa Herbold, middle and ring finger intertwined with a thumb back. “Cause you know and I know it’s the best side, that’s right — West Seattle. West Seattle, California Ave., California Ave. yeah.”
Most readers in the City of Seattle weren’t fans of the report either.
“Just come on, stop it, stop it, will ya?” they asked so loud it registered on the Richter scale. “Stop it, stop it will YAAAAAAAA?”
