Its unmistakable leather fragrance arrives hidden in a stack of what first appears to be a pile of non-descript junk mail, Safeway flyers and the ValPak envelope – fodder for coupon-clipping riffraff that is still somehow affronting your mailbox.
Follow the scent and there it is: A trove of “unfailing goods” for the discriminating consumer – your rugged Pacific Northwest winners of the world ready to drop $600 on a prairie duster or $60 on a wolf-shaped key chain. Winners like your Ballard baristas, your inherited Queen Anne mansion owners, your 23-year-old South Lake Union software engineers finally making enough bank to erase an entire adolescence and college experience huddled over a computer in a dark, indoor cave.
What is it exactly? The answer, of course, is the seasonal catalog for Seattle-based outdoor gear outfitter Filson – a sourcebook of photos, products, and descriptions that leap off the page as vividly as the cougar you shot from a helicopter that one time with Dad. One look at it so convinces you you’ve been organizing horse tack all day that buying a bison hide beer cozy ($132) only seems like the most natural next step, even to the most dyed-in-the-wool city slicker.
And, oh look! Here’s beloved Smokey the Bear—orphaned cub, wildfire victim, and ambassador for outdoor fire safety—trotted out on several of this year’s items, including a $375 wool blend throw blanket that sends 100 percent of the proceeds of all sales straight back to Filson. Such a sweet deal because that image is public domain and costs nothing to exploit. You’d never know the Kincaid and Maria megafires had just burned out of control just down the coast in California, leaving bushels of baby bears homeless. At least they’re not going ‘functionally extinct’ like koalas are after fires ravaged Australia this year too.
But you don’t need to worry about that! Wildfires are depressing and it’s time for happy holidays! Go ahead, turn the page. See? There are still plenty of bears! Just take a good look at this photograph, taken by an unidentified photographer, of three unidentified bears in an unidentified wilderness. I think they are brown bears (grizzlies)? I think it’s in Alaska someplace? I think it’s Art Wolfe? Can someone help me out here? Nevermind: I’m just glad someone’s finally easing regulations that used to make it so hard to get one of these beautiful beasts’ heads over my fireplace someday.
Moving on, there’s lots to see here.
Do you love ripping juicy salmon out of a starving orca’s mouth? Then you’ll love staying cozy and dry as you overfish the dying waters of the Puget Sound in the limited edition colors of the vintage flannel workshirt, priced at a down-to-earth $145 (thanks for the reasonable price point, unnamed country of import!). Don’t look at me for proof this shirt is rugged, hard-wearing apparel — the photo on the opposite page of the suffocated bodies of 17 chinook salmon casually tossed in a flatbed truck speaks for itself.
(And, just think, the cargo ship that ferried your cozy and oh-so-PNW button-up to Seattle could have even struck a migrating family of whales on its way to port. Now that’s what I call whale-traveled fashion!)
But, seriously, a lot of this stuff is made in the USA. For example, the Filson Workshop Leather Trapper Pack, described as “a replica of a 19th-century trapper pack unearthed in the North Woods of Maine,” which will put you back more than $1,895.00 plus tax and shipping.
But can you really put a price on such a useful item in a city so full of promise as relentlessly over-developed Seattle? Whether you’re planning a new startup to trap and eradicate invasive nutria from Lake Washington, are a chef who needs a waterproof tote to shuttle a finished slab of home-cured pork belly to market, or simply would like to discreetly hide vast quantities of cash as you step over city sidewalks teeming with one of the nation’s highest homeless populations, the uses are endless.
Meanwhile, Tacoma—long the butt of jokes Seattle-side—will see no prejudice among the pages of the Sourcebook, as the imported, $175 cotton corduroy Tacoma Work Jacket makes perfectly clear. Well, yes, it looks like a fancy Carhartt. But come on, do Tacomans wear anything else? (In all seriousness, T-Town, we love you, in spite of your non-aspirational, blue-collar ways! Keep that Roca coming!).
And, last but not least, let’s not forget the ladies!
Might I suggest the limited handmade sweater, knit right here on the North American continent by our Canadian neighbors? This naturally water-repellent, 100% wool, zip-up pullover in a light heather brown will not only keep you toasty and dry all season long, but a primitive red galloping horse stitched on the back, reminiscent an embroidered 1800s-era sampler, will surely have everyone thinking you found the deal of the century at the Fremont Vintage Mall (and you only paid $595.00). Mothballs are extra, but your secret’s safe with me!
I’m sure I’m not alone: The smell of artificial leather musk and the $38 Filson coastal spruce candle means only one thing: The holidays are on the way. But, this year, in lieu of decking the halls with $15 leather moose ornaments and taking out a personal loan, I think I’ll take my trapper’s bag, antler tip bottle opener, leather cup sleeve, and a 6-pack to head out into a rugged void (this being Seattle, you’ll find me in White Center).
If you’d like to join me, please bring a Harry Nilsson playlist and Filson’s $48 box of matches.
