With the overdue and overbudget First Avenue Streetcar project on ice after a canceled contract, the City of Seattle announced Friday that it would instead fund a much-awaited Capitol Hill streetcar that will carry cruelty-free, coconut cream-laden foodies on the long two-block trek from vegan donut bakery, Mighty-O, to vegan ice cream shop, Frankie & Jo’s.
“It’s a virtual vegan bullet train,” said Nathan Woonerfson, Seattle Department of Transportation (SDOT) spokesman. “With a travel time of three seconds, it’ll be the nation’s fastest public transit route — in fact, the mere size of the street car itself gets you about a third of the distance to your destination.”
Public transit advocates hailed the decision, which will cost the city a mere $600 million.
“I can’t imagine a greener way to get from Point A to Point B other than walking, biking or a zero-emissions bus,” said Niko Roberts, spokesman for Toy Train Collectors for Transit. “Studies show that people prefer streetcars even if they’re late 39 percent of the year, require expensive installed tracks known to mortally maim cyclists or sometimes skid 2.5 blocks when four different brake systems simultaneously fail.”
Woonerfson said that, although it’s a shame the city’s streetcars won’t be entrusted to Downtown’s many steep hills first, the so-called “vegan bullet train” will at least provide more public transit options in a neighborhood that only has a light rail station, several bus routes and people who choose to live there for the area’s high walkability scores.
Construction of the new route is expected to begin immediately, temporarily closing off nearby streets until 2026.
