One Seattle couple is putting an end to dumping things that shouldn’t go into the mixed recycling bin — and, most importantly, all of the critical thought involved — with their revolutionary implementation of a “Maybe Recyclables” bin.
“We used to stress about whether empty glass olive oil bottles would contaminate the “definitely” recycling bin or if they’re technically “glass bottles, rinsed,’” said Columbia City resident Emma Harris. “Now we put them in the “Maybe Recyclables” bin and let the experts, wherever the hell they are, figure it out for us.”
Her husband Greg Harris says it’s done wonders for their relationship too.
“She doesn’t yell at me for putting the used paper towels in the recycling bin anymore,” said Greg. “I want to do the right thing, but it’s so overwhelming to figure out what that is sometimes.”
Local utility and waste management groups have taken notice and are preparing to take the quasi-recycling practice mainstream.
“Quite frankly, we’re fucking tired of figuring it out too,” said Seattle Public Utilities Manager Calvin Nedders. “So, fuck it: Someone somewhere further down the line is a better expert at sorting this out, right? We’re sure there is.”
Nedders said mixed recyclables programs made recycling participation so convenient in Seattle that recovery rose from 184,000 tons of recyclables and compostables in 1988 to over 450,000 tons of recyclables alone in 2018.
“We can’t wait to see how much more wadded up Saran wrap, rinsed containers that are still kinda wet, and foil-lined canisters that are paperboard but have metal on both ends we’ll get with this new “Maybe Recyclables” program,” said Nedders. “We’re just so glad environmental heroes like Emma and Greg are here to create a trash disposal option that outsources the thinking part of this whole thing somewhere else.”
