Howard Schultz has finally issued a mea culpa to Seattle for forever linking the city with his burnt, flavorless Starbucks coffee.
“It’s on me,” writes Schultz in his new book “Poor Howard: Self-Serving Observations Ahead of My Presidential Run.”
For many Seattleites, it’s too little, too late.
“Mother-&$@ing Howard D. Schultz!” said Veritas barista Kiersten Peterson. “I always have to explain to people that no, I do not work at Starbucks and a Frappuccino is not in our repertoire.”
Chris Locks, a local drip drinker, offered a more nuanced take.
“Starbucks is not my go-to, but when I’m looking for a quick three-dollar cup of hot dishwater, I know where I can get it.”
At press time, Schultz was reportedly setting up a meeting between Starbucks’ leading shareholders and a few Oklahoma City investors.
