Word on the street is that one of the nation’s most woke and progressive men is right here in Seattle’s Central District sporting none other than a Hitler Youth haircut.
“I reclaimed the haircut from Nazi fascists who were famous worldwide for the look,” said Mike LaMore while putting up a new “Black Lives Matter” sign in his front yard. “From one stylish motherfucker desperately running out of vintage eras to steal fashion from to another, you’re welcome.”
Though LaMore’s haircut choice initially made a splash, it’s now so mainstream that other neighbors also claiming wokeness have adopted the look.
“It’s like we’re so woke we can baptize and purify fascist fashion by wearing it,” said neighbor Jessie Miller. “That way it doesn’t send any weird mixed messages while Nazism is still obviously on the rise both nationally and abroad.”
Miller said the fashion statement has the added benefit of making it impossible to visually notice the difference between a woke progressive and an open Neo-Nazi walking down the street.
Stay tuned in the coming weeks for our next local style profiles: Balding guy with shaved head entrepreneurial AF and woman with half-shaven head tribal AF.
