According to shocked local witnesses, Morticia Wormwood had an unsuccessful interview at West Seattle’s famous 50’s diner, Luna Park Café, despite her clear devotion to the goth lifestyle.
“She lives here, she wears a tight, black lace bodice and funeral veil and she didn’t get hired,” said West Seattle resident Martha Winter. “Does anything make sense in this city anymore?”
When interviewed, Luna Park Café stood by their decision not to hire Wormwood.
“First off, she called and demanded we schedule an interview for midnight,” said Luna Park Manager Congy Benet. “But we always do our interviews at dusk, when the light drains from the sky and Lord Valtrex rises from his tomb.”
Refusing to take no for an answer, Wormwood reportedly showed up at closing with a boombox raised above her head blasting The Cure.
“It was super annoying because we were already playing The Cure,” said Benet. “It just sounded like a weird echo from beyond.”
Wormwood then reportedly attempted to cast an incantation on Benet to force an interview, but it was ineffective.
“I’ve been working at Luna Park a long-ass time and I know my way around the dark arts,” Benet says. “Don’t get in my face with your goat head jibber jabber — I’ve got shakes to make.”
