“I’m from West Seattle,” Says Liar from Burien

In an adorable attempt to still belong, local liar Sarah Krupps has been telling everyone within earshot that she lives in West Seattle despite nightly slumbers in Burien. Krupps,...

Romantic: Couple Watching Discovery Park Sunset Successfully Ignores Smell of Raw Sewage

With a brilliant sunset in the works, 27-year-old Xavier Wilson declared nothing--nay, not even endless wafts of day-old human feces--could spoil his Friday evening Discovery Park date plans for new girlfriend, Betsy...

Local Mom to Cure Homelessness Epidemic with Essential Oils

After her recent visit to the Home and Garden Show, Bothell mom Beverly Carlisle has “just the thing” for the rash of homelessness plaguing Seattle. “I realized that there...

Seattle Woman Celebrating Unseasonable Warmth With Long Walks Along Beaches Of Hyrule

For the past week, Seattleites have enjoyed uncharacteristically warm and sunny days, and Ballard resident Natalie Stahl does not plan on letting this good weather go to waste either.

UW Cherry Trees Tired of Objectification

After years of being photographed simply for their beauty, cherry trees in the UW Quad have filed an official complaint with the Vice-Provost for Horticultural Affairs. "We want to be seen for more than just...

Vegan Vows to Drive All Steaks Off Mercer Island

Sick of the carnal idolization of steak-eating at up-scale restaurants and local haunts across Mercer Island, vegan Wolf Michaels has vowed to rid the Lake Washington isle of all steaks.

Christopher Nolan Announces Phoenix Jones Reboot

Though Phoenix Jones’ MIA status over the last month has prompted widespread rumors of his permanent retirement, Batman movie director Christopher Nolan surprised Emerald City Comic Con audiences tonight when he announced...

Seattle Couple Experiments with “Maybe Recyclables”

One Seattle couple is putting an end to dumping things that shouldn’t go into the mixed recycling bin — and, most importantly, all of the critical thought involved — with their...

KEXP Holds Eddie Vedder Hostage Until Pledge Goal Met

In a shocking turn of events, it has become apparent that KEXP officials have kidnapped Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder, and are holding him hostage inside of the radio station’s gathering space. 

Frye Art Museum to Start Paying Customers to Visit

In a revolutionary marketing campaign set to match its revolutionary art exhibits, the Frye Art Museum has just announced it will start paying visitors to see its galleries.