In a gesture of feigned generosity, Seattle gave Portland its second Xbox controller to play Halo. The catch: It was unplugged the entire time.
A half hour of Portland pestering Seattle for a turn prompted Seattle to devise a plan that would both placate Portland and prevent having a terrible co-op partner. Seattle dug the broken MadCatz controller out from the entertainment center and gave it to Portland, fumbling through a vague explanation of the controls.
“You just go like this,” said Seattle. “Yeah … that … that should work. Ready?”
Portland then reportedly glued himself to the TV, making “pew pew pew” noises even though Master Chief was clearly using the energy sword. Seattle shouted empty words of encouragement as Portland wildly waved the controller around.
“You got it,” Seattle said as it cleared out a Covenant encampment. “Keep shooting those bad guys!”
While both Seattle and Portland were happy with the events of the afternoon, Seattle wonders how long the ruse can last.
“One of these days, Portland’s going to see me set up the Xbox and it’ll start to click,” said Seattle. “I just hope I can beat the game on Legendary before then.”
