In an unforgettable match-up against a host of all-star inner demons — including procrastination, cynicism, apathy, hopelessness and perfectionism — Ballard resident Ben Kemp slam-dunked his ballot into a King County Elections drop-off box just in time for it to be counted Tuesday night.
“I can’t believe I pulled it off,” Kemp panted to a ballot drop-off volunteer about the historic buzzer-beater. “I want to thank all my friends and the social media posts guilt-tripping me into this with vicious cuss words and threats to never talk to me again if I didn’t do my part. Couldn’t have done it without you.”
At press time, Kemp had decided to go immediately to sleep to avoid running into any news that could give him nightmares.
