As the city’s coffers run dry from dumping truckloads of money on the doorsteps of homeless shelters, I, a lowly sea captain, seek your support and gracious funding for an expedition to locate Neptune’s Treasure.
I have traveled the world and swam in waters untold, seeking treasures not seen by man since the time of the Caesars. For this city, the only port I have ever called home, I would dive countless leagues and again lock claws with the Ghost Crab Emperor of the Pacific, if it meant I could return home with a ship full of magma diamonds or liberated merman gold.
I believe Neptune’s vast wealth lies beneath the waves somewhere due west of our gray sand beaches. These riches could be used a thousand times over to replace our city’s blight of shanty towns with magnificent villas, stretching from shore to sky. All I ask is for your honorable word, guaranteeing I and my six men, stout of heart and soft of brain, will obtain recompense for our harrowing journey through the shadowy depths.
Sincerely,
Captain John Swaggart III
